


WandaVision as told by Señor Scratchy

by wonderlandandotherplaces



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), WandaVision (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Humor, I am going to hell for writing this, POV First Person, Please don’t take this seriously, Señor Scratchy Is Done, based off a tumblr post i made a few hours ago, the rabbit tells all, this rabbit is obviously a call to her son so he calls her mother, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29748357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderlandandotherplaces/pseuds/wonderlandandotherplaces
Summary: WandaVision through the eyes of Señor Scratchy.
Relationships: Agatha Harkness & Señor Scratchy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	WandaVision as told by Señor Scratchy

I don’t own anything & I apologise for writing this.

When mother informed me that she had found something odd, I knew it could mean a countless number of things.

Personally, I wasn’t too fond of finding out what, I was actually enjoying my perfectly mundane day.

My carrots were fresh this morning, I’d just found the exact right spot on my rich purple velvet cushion to nap on. I was comfortable, I didn’t want to move.

Mother had other plans and I really wish she hadn’t seen me awake, just hopping on to my cushion, or maybe she would’ve left me alone.

I was mere inches away from the velvety goodness when she scooped me up.

Goddammit tall woman.

The story she told me was a pretty odd one, I’ll hand her that. Mother is one pretty powerful witch and if there’s something out there that she doesn’t understand, well it’s probably something intriguing.

Something she can really get her teeth into.

I’ll hold my paw up and admit it, I was interested too. I haven’t had much excitement in awhile.

We also haven’t met any witches in a long time either and apparently that’s what’s at the heart of this mystery that’s got mother hooked.

A witch, a new one.

To be fair, I haven’t wanted much excitement. I’m living the life here in our home, I want for nothing, I got nothing to complain about.

The outside world can be annoying, there’s too many people, too many other animals.

I asked mother where it is that we were going and if we’re planning to stay long.

I should’ve realised when she said ‘we’ that we were probably going to be there a while.

Whilst I’m sure mother appreciates my company, she doesn’t normally take me on adventures, unless they’re going to take a while.

Mother had been busy, as it turned out, this place is apparently guarded by powerful magic and she’d already found a way in and a place for us to stay.

Honestly, I was a bit annoyed that she was only telling me this now, I would have liked to have given my artistic opinion when it came to our new place.

Share my views of what colour paint I’d want to look at on the walls and most importantly, what kinda flooring we should be using.

I’m partial to a nice soft carpet. I would have liked to have picked the colour and texture. 

Truth be told, I probably would’ve felt more inconvenienced if it wasn’t for the fact that she said we could take my favourite cushion with me.

I ain’t gonna hide it, I quite like it when we’re flying.

The wind whipping around my ears, the soft breeze sending ripples against my fur. It’s pretty good.

I’m not a fan of flying with mother, however, when it looks like we’re about to crash into something.

That something, this time, being a red orb of some kind.

Some forcefield.

“Mother!” I tired to get her attention.

“Mother!” To quote ‘Alice in Wonderland’ oh my ears and whiskers! I thought, panicked as we made our descent.

This is it, I thought. Mother’s finally cracked and we’re going to go splat on a force field.

Fortunately instead of dying dramatically, the red orb bends to mother’s magic and we slip inside.

The hole immediately closes up behind us and we start to fly down towards a house.

It was then when I noticed that things were changing. 

“What the... Mother, why am I grey? I object to being grey.” I stopped for a moment when we landed and mother’s purple magic engulfed her, changing her style as she became grey too and an odd looking plant appeared in her hands. 

In all my years, I’d never been so confused. Why are we in, what looks to be some kinda fifties sitcom?

“Now just hang on out here for me and I’ll be right back.” Mother informed me.

“Why can’t I meet the witch?”

“This is something I need to do alone for now. I’ll be introducing you later.”

Oh this is just great! I thought, I’m grey and mother’s going to meet the witch without me. 

I wasn’t impressed and I made my displeasure known.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Mother retorted.

“That plant is ugly.” I grumbled back as mother walked away from me and I hopped towards the nearby bush.

Honestly, at the time I wondered if it would just be easier to hop on home, but my curious nature got the better of me.

Peering out from behind the bush, I caught a glimpse of the new witch when she opened the door.

Traditional fifties housewife is the first impression I got of the lady holding the door open to greet mother.

She was about the same height as my mother and was kinda hot if I’m being honest.

“Hello dear, I’m Agnes, your neighbour to the right. Not my right, yours.” 

Other than being pretty damn confused as to why I could suddenly hear peels of laughed, clever. I mused to myself.

Agnes. AGatha HarkNESs. Point to mother for originality. 

“Forgive me for not stepping by sooner to welcome you to the neighbourhood. My mother in law was in town, so I wasn’t.”

There is was again, the laughter track. 

Well, that got annoying fast.

I ain’t that stupid, it wasn’t as if I expected the witch to keep her front door open after mother shoved the weird plant into her arms, but it doesn’t mean that I wasn’t pissed off when the conversation got cut off.

“Enjoy yourself in there?” I asked mother when she finally left the witch’s home.

“Interesting.” She mused as she picked me up.

As annoyed at her as I was for just leaving me outside, I was pretty content to be held.

It was cold sitting by that bush.

“Very interesting.” She remarked, stroking my fur with her long fingers.

“We got a mystery on our hands Señor Scratchy.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know what inspired me to create this disaster, but I figured why not? Thank you all so much for reading & please comment if you can.


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